Creating Space

This week was pretty busy. My husband came back from visiting family in Senegal, I then lightly dragged him to see Julie with me, and then we went to see my baby sister off to Iraq!! Then as a final touch, as we were driving back, our friends Karen and Emeric were welcoming their new baby buko into the "world" as we know it...talk about a mental and emotional ROLLERCOASTER! And so as I was recovering on Saturday from all of the excitement, I began to think about how we create space for ourselves and for others. Sometimes this space is physical, sometimes it is emotional, and it is always personal. I never realized how attached I was to "space".
As a child, I used to re-arrange my room weekly (as most of us did) and I would re-fold all of my clothes in my drawers (which I hope most of us DIDNT) all of this was in efforts to re-organize my space both in my room but more so for my own mental sanity. Growing up with 7 siblings and being especially close in age to 4 boys is quite demanding, I have now realized as an adult, and this was one thing that I always had "control" over and could rely on it being exactly how I left it.
No one would ever believe how anal retentive I was if they came into my room, office, or house these days. Most people wonder if I can find anything (but rest assured, there is a method to the madness that drives some of my closest friends crazy)
And while many of my spaces both materially and mentally look very different from when I was a child, I've realized that the objective is the same...creating a space that is authentically mine.
This is much harder than I would have ever imagined as I find myself constantly pulled in a myriad of directions, by so many things that I identify with. Sometimes its art, sometimes order, and sometimes I just want to sit in the space that exists between them, in the shadows.

And so what does this mean to anyone reading this? Maybe "thanks for sharing" maybe TMI but either way, I'm wondering about how each of our unique and authentic ways of creating space impacts both how we interact in the world and how we allow others to interact with us. I wonder how we can be more aware and then appreciative of how others need to create space for themselves without having our own needs obstructed or disrupted. And maybe this isn't possible. But if it was, how would we get to that "place"?

Getting to a Birdz Eye View

What does it mean to have a bird's eye view, traditionally one would think that it means a view from above, almost out of site and unnoticeable to those who are being viewed. And within my definition this isn't all wrong, but it is not inclusive enough either. For me, getting a birdz eye view invites new perspectives about self and others. It requires reflection, identification, and eventually response. Taking this approach is so critical, especially now, as the world continues to move faster, and is growing small enough to allow for things like this blog to exist and be read around the world. But as humanity, we have lost touch and focus on those things that are most important. And honestly, those things are not things at all but are people and relationships. So, for me getting a bird(z) eye view is about determining how to make the best of life within the human condition. Now I'm not trying to be philosophical when I mention, the human condition or to begin a big debate over what this means, but I have been spending a lot of time pondering what this means and specifically what it mean for me and my life.

2008 is about reflection

So, I've never really been a public reflector (sp) but am feeling that maybe it will do me some good to remove my thoughts from my internal realm and instead put them out for the world to see. I have come to the conclusion on January 9, 2008 that this year is about being thankful for what you have. Reflecting on where you've been, and making greater strides towards where you would like to go.

On January 9, 2008, my seven sisters and brothers and I buried our father who had decided that he was ready to leave this life and begin his journey within the next. In so many ways i cannot blame him and i have been trying to rationalize my feelings about it by saying that it was what he wanted and that he is in a better place, but that's becoming increasingly more difficult to swallow. The best glimmer of hope that I have had was when I was saying prayers last night and I read this line of a prayer by Baha'u'llah:

"O my God, Thy Trust hath been returned unto Thee. It behooveth Thy grace and Thy bounty that have compassed Thy dominions on earth and in heaven, to vouchsafe unto Thy newly welcomed one Thy gifts and Thy bestowals, and the fruits of the tree of Thy grace!"

As I read this prayer last night, a weight that had been looming around me seemed lifted and I was able think more positively than I had been since the funeral. And so although this i not how I would have ever intended to begin this blog (which by the way will only be here until i can really figure out what I'm doing) but as I am submitting wholly and completely to the Will of God, I believe that this is the beginning.