So, I've never really been a public reflector (sp) but am feeling that maybe it will do me some good to remove my thoughts from my internal realm and instead put them out for the world to see. I have come to the conclusion on January 9, 2008 that this year is about being thankful for what you have. Reflecting on where you've been, and making greater strides towards where you would like to go.
On January 9, 2008, my seven sisters and brothers and I buried our father who had decided that he was ready to leave this life and begin his journey within the next. In so many ways i cannot blame him and i have been trying to rationalize my feelings about it by saying that it was what he wanted and that he is in a better place, but that's becoming increasingly more difficult to swallow. The best glimmer of hope that I have had was when I was saying prayers last night and I read this line of a prayer by Baha'u'llah:
"O my God, Thy Trust hath been returned unto Thee. It behooveth Thy grace and Thy bounty that have compassed Thy dominions on earth and in heaven, to vouchsafe unto Thy newly welcomed one Thy gifts and Thy bestowals, and the fruits of the tree of Thy grace!"
As I read this prayer last night, a weight that had been looming around me seemed lifted and I was able think more positively than I had been since the funeral. And so although this i not how I would have ever intended to begin this blog (which by the way will only be here until i can really figure out what I'm doing) but as I am submitting wholly and completely to the Will of God, I believe that this is the beginning.
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing this, Israil. It is a beautiful post. I often forget to think about how thankful I am for the people and experiences in my life. It's sad to see that in print. I recently started a new process of infusing more positive thoughts into my daily life. I believe that my new process will now incorporate regular thoughts of thankfulness.
Welcome to the blog world, Israil! I look forward to reading more.
My heart goes out to you. It's been two years since my brother ended his life and I go through such a roller coaster of emotions over it still. Hold fast to those prayers.
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