This week was pretty busy. My husband came back from visiting family in Senegal, I then lightly dragged him to see Julie with me, and then we went to see my baby sister off to Iraq!! Then as a final touch, as we were driving back, our friends Karen and Emeric were welcoming their new baby buko into the "world" as we know it...talk about a mental and emotional ROLLERCOASTER! And so as I was recovering on Saturday from all of the excitement, I began to think about how we create space for ourselves and for others. Sometimes this space is physical, sometimes it is emotional, and it is always personal. I never realized how attached I was to "space".
As a child, I used to re-arrange my room weekly (as most of us did) and I would re-fold all of my clothes in my drawers (which I hope most of us DIDNT) all of this was in efforts to re-organize my space both in my room but more so for my own mental sanity. Growing up with 7 siblings and being especially close in age to 4 boys is quite demanding, I have now realized as an adult, and this was one thing that I always had "control" over and could rely on it being exactly how I left it.
No one would ever believe how anal retentive I was if they came into my room, office, or house these days. Most people wonder if I can find anything (but rest assured, there is a method to the madness that drives some of my closest friends crazy)
And while many of my spaces both materially and mentally look very different from when I was a child, I've realized that the objective is the same...creating a space that is authentically mine.
This is much harder than I would have ever imagined as I find myself constantly pulled in a myriad of directions, by so many things that I identify with. Sometimes its art, sometimes order, and sometimes I just want to sit in the space that exists between them, in the shadows.
And so what does this mean to anyone reading this? Maybe "thanks for sharing" maybe TMI but either way, I'm wondering about how each of our unique and authentic ways of creating space impacts both how we interact in the world and how we allow others to interact with us. I wonder how we can be more aware and then appreciative of how others need to create space for themselves without having our own needs obstructed or disrupted. And maybe this isn't possible. But if it was, how would we get to that "place"?
2 comments:
Iz, I've been thinking about these very same questions over the last couple of weeks. I've been looking for apartments with 2 other friends and we each need a different kind of "space". And after spending time together in a couple of different environments, we've each seen how those environments have affected how we interact with each other. Now comes the compromise and balance that's required to find a mutually nurturing space the allows us to be our best selves.
nice post, iz. i too, think about this subject more and more often (especially now since i'm living by myself). for the most part, i've always been an organized person and took pride in having my own room. being able to organize and re-arrange things allowed me to have some sense of control in my life....it became a sanctuary of sorts when things in my life/family were crumbling down around me. as an adult, i never realized how important it was for me to live on my own and have my own space. today, it still is my sanctuary. my physical living space allows me to tend to my mental space in a healthy, non-judgmental way. it has also allowed me to let others in....physically, mentally, spiritually. i guess it all comes down to comfort. being comfortable with ourselves in our surroundings and wanting to share that with others.
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